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| is gonna be good. Good night.
Blog soon.
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| Regret: Worse than any other feeling imaginable. Worse than any pain. Don't most of our issues stem from regretting the past and the mistakes we've made? For a small example, haven't you ever said something stupid in a class, everyone laughs at you, and you feel bitter and embarrassed inside? Small deal compared to big things though. We can't go back to the past, but "learning to deal with your mistakes, learn from them, and move on" is hell of a lot easier said than done. I've never regret anything in my life until 2 years ago up to now. I'm not torn up about any of those things...but it feels like it.
Sin: I have my own personal demon. My own sin to deal with. I try to be nice. So I care. But how do I stop caring so much? Why can't I stop when others want me to? I shouldn't be envious. I can't have everything. I don't want everything. But I'm too emotional in this aspect. Those who I envy don't deserve my negative thoughts, and possibly actions. This is why I'm selfish. Who do I kid when I say I believe I'm selfless? I've felt regret about this for a few days now.
I'm not changing who I am. But it's getting harder and harder to pick yourself up when life kicks you down.
White Void indeed.
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| Void inside me indeed. Blog soon.
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| Last Saturday: I ate breakfast at home, then rushed for last minute packing. Got everything in the car and left. Traffic wasn't too horrendous, but we got lost because I really, REALLY, suck at reading maps. We got there and after some confusion, took all my stuff into my dorm. After finishing move-in, I went to eat with my roommates, Albert and Edwin. They say that dorming with friends are bad, but I don't really see how/why. I guess I'll find out after this year, maybe. Went to Hedrick dining hall to eat. After that, we all came back to finalize ourselves in our room. I'm pretty happy with my room; I'll post up pictures later tonight or tomorrow. We also met 2 of our suitemates, Spencer and Dennis, both of whom totally decked out our living room.
Last Sunday: Ryan, our last roommate, arrived. Edwin, Albert, and I walked around campus armed with our agendas and map to explore for our classrooms. In total, we walked about 5-6 miles that day.
Monday: We went to buy our textbooks that morning. HELLA EXPENSIVE! (NorCal reference.) Around 4, we went down to Pauley Pavilion (aka, basketball gym) for some more lectures (OMFG I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE DURING ORIENTATION!) then a BBQ in the Intramural field. I ate 2 burgers for lunch that day, and didn't see the hot dogs. I ate a total of 3 burgers that day t.t More lectures, and back to the dorms.
Tuesday: Woke up bright and early to do volunteer service. Many of us ate breakfasts prepared by UCLA and went on buses to our destinations. We volunteered at Contreras High School and painted a wall bordering the basketball courts. It was tiring work, and the sun was friggin hot and huge. We got back to our dorms at like, 2...suitemates later that night were caught with alcohol, but since we were in our dorms while they were in the living room, so we'll be alright, and hopefully they just get a warning, since school didn't start yet.
Wednesday: Albert went back to El Monte early for a scholarship. I went with Edwin to eat with Jiawei (friend from orientation) and Albert met up with us again. We spent most of the day in our room playing the Wii, then went to dinner. That night, we had our Hitch Building Battle, which included stuff like "mingling with other people and forming a group with a shouted # of people; if you're not in a group, you're out", mess with your residential adviser's hair, tug of war, and massive, all-out water balloon fight.
Thursday: First day of classes! I went to History 1C (Western Civilization) at 11. The professor introduced his class and sorta his syllabus verbally. After that, he dismissed us early (I suppose for the walkout). Later, I went to eat lunch and drop off my stuff. I waited until 1:35, and powerwalked to my English class in 20 minutes (which was tiring, once again). The class feels like Maher's; we watched a clip of the Daily Show and talked about it. The professor focuses on Comedy and Satire. Very interesting class so far.
Friday: Math class in the morning at 10. The professor talks in an accent, but he went right into math. He reminds me of Hill; focuses heavily on only math, almost forgets that there's a class behind him...I dunno, I feel like it's gonna be a tough class, but it'll be worth it.
Today: Ate lunch with Albert, Phouchai, and Jonathan. Edwin went back home for a day to pick stuff up. After lunch, I mostly stayed in my dorm reading history for 3 hours, then went to eat dinner with Albert, Jiawei, and Jonathan. Back to my dorm and chilling; will read again later.
Overall: College is awesome. People are so nice and not assholes on sight. I've already made plenty of great new friends (P.S. Jonathan is lol awesome). While all my classes have given homework already, I don't hate any of them yet. The walk to classes is a chore, but it counters Freshman 15, I suppose. And the FOOD IS SO BOMB! I literally look forward to eating everyday now. Man, it's that good. I'll save swipes for anyone who wants to visit :p
And that's my college experience so far. Awesome, fun, everything I expected it to be. So far, anyway(?).
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| Damn. Because my day was ruined, I didn't feel like finishing a new story. But neither have I ever felt so annoyed before.
No, I will not blog about why; if you want to know, ask me privately.
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